[2359]

I do not know where should I start, life is imbalance between my relationship and my work. I am in my fifty and I am lost in my relationship. I am troubled and sad everyday but I need to act like nothing happen.

My wife is an OCD and personality disorder plus control freak. You can’t imagine what I am going thru. It’s not physical but everyday it is an emotional abuse to me.

We have been together for 27 years! And recent two years, no sex but scolding from her. It can start from a very minor thing to anything. I am in deep trouble and doesn’t know how to resolve it.

My friend once told me that Hey, you are given an option to leave her but you choose to stay. So please don’t say no choice.

There are two reasons which I can’t leave her. First - I need to work in order to provide for my mother which is in her eighties that is living with her sister. Second - I need to provide for my only daughter that is still schooling. You may ask, what is the problem with that. You can still work after your divorce. She threatens to go to my office to make a scene if I leave her. I know she is capable to do it.

I am senior management in my company and I can’t afford this happen. I have two hundred plus head counts reporting to me and it is a joke I can’t handle my relationship at home.

She has been calling me names in front of my daughter and helper. Moronic, stupid, useless man, brainless man, and F word etc. 95% of the time I have to keep quiet and let her scold. The 5% I cannot take it and retaliate. The situation will get worst with screaming, and banging of doors or asking me to leave the house.

She accused me for not earning enough so that she can no need to work. Her work is so stressful everyday and I should behave and make her happy. If I wanted to be a man, then provide her and family everything then I can give her black face.

We work our way to current living standard. The condo and living standard needs two income to sustain. Two holidays per year and restaurant almost every weekends. Two of us must work in order to continue. Yes I am paying almost everything but it is still not enough. Suggest to her why don’t she resigned and she said that can you afford everything including the two holidays? If you cannot, please shut up and use your brain to think before you speak!

I love this woman but everything’s has been going her way and I do not have any respect at all. I need to ask permission to meet my friends and even company meeting at night, I have to show the email as a prove. She can go out with her friends anytime and till 2, 3 am. I usually back home before 1030 pm. The fear in me already override everything I think a human being suppose to have. One year, I think less than 5 meet up with my friends.

It is worst when going oversea. If you are an ocd or your love one is an ocd. You will know what I meant. The hotel rooms are all very dirty and we are not supposed to anyhow put out things or walk around. Failing to do so, any scolding and blaming. Even in my house, I can’t anyhow sit or lye down.

I have no more friends and everyday and weekend, tons of things to do. No hobbies and no love. Two years without sex. She thinks it is dirty and she doesn’t like it. In front of my colleagues, I am a leader, at home I am just another helper.

Are you having the same experience or do you once had this experience? I think many of us are in this situation in regardless you are a man or woman. Many times, we can’t act on it because there are too many things for us to consider. We trying to be logical. It is not physical abuse and emotional abuse is something we can’t see the physical evident. Do you have any good lawyer to recommend for a consultation on my rights? Thank you brothers